Friday, May 30, 2008

Unfit For Work

Funny how my Facebook and Twitter status changed from
"wants to drink til he gets smashed but is unable to walk to the store because of his sprained left foot. :-("
to
"unfit for work. no, not the sprained foot. hangover. terrible hangover from his midweek off."
in less than 48 hours. And to think the normal recovery time for a sprain is 36 hours.


So this is what happened.


Tuesday afternoon, I twisted my foot during the show but managed to continue dancing. It didn't really hurt that bad. I even got to workout after my shows. The two people who saw exactly what happened, Pro and Nombuso, were very concerned because they thought it was a bad twist. I didn't feel anything alarming. I went home and took a nap. When I woke up, my left foot was already inflammed and I could barely walk on it. That's when I wrote "wants to drink til he gets smashed but is unable to walk to the store because of his sprained left foot. :-(". I was hoping one of my neighbors would read it and volunteer to buy me drinks. No one answered my plea for help. It was frustrating, trust me. It was my Friday and I was sitting alone in my room watching the last season of the Golden Girls with not even a can of beer or a glass of wine anywhere within my 100-meter radius. IN one of my trips to the freezer to change my ice pack, I saw the fresh 1.87 pint of Dreyer's Rocky Road. Consuming 3/4 of it by myself in 30 minutes helped soothe the frustration quite a bit.


Wednesday, around 6pm, I went to see Dr. L. He gave me Celebrex and massaged my foot a little. I took the train to Central, for free vodka Wednesdays at Volume, although I wasn't really in the mood to socialize. But I promised Josh I would be there and Steve had just gotten back from another business trip. Plus, Val was going to be there. I got to convince myself it wouldn't be bad to just sit there, have a drink, chat with friends, and then leave beofre the last train departs. On my wasy to Volume, I saw a food friend, Kelly, who invited me for dinner since it was only 7:30. A little too early to start drinking, according to him. While we were sitting at Bacar, a quaint tapas bar by the Soho escalators, we saw another good friend, Charlie, whom we hadn't seen for a while. See, Charlie is one of those people whose presence just excites me and makes me giddy. He sat down with us and later came to Volume with us.


When Kelly, Charlie and I got to Volume, the beckies were already there, probably on their fourth round of drinks. Some of them were already loud, some were flirty, some were slurring. I gave out a loud and curly "Hiiiii!" to everyone, to which Steve replied, "Friend, you dn't look the slightest bit unwilling to socialize!" Josh exclaimed, "I thought you were injured. It doesn't show!"


3 chardonnays and 2 cosmopolitans later, at around 10pm, the place was filling up with more familiar faces. Brad teased me, saying he was sure he would receive another message from me on facebook on Thursday morning saying, "I have a terrible hangover. You should have one too." Then a new friend, Theodore, made a surprise appearance as well. Just before 10:30, he instructed me to finish my drink and said we had some place to go. I obliged without any question. Before 11, was already buzzed and was saying goodbye to my friends. At this point, Charlie had already left but his impact on my general disposition that night remained with me.

About 20 minutes later, Theodore and I were on a private bus that would bring us to a secluded piece of land in the middle of West Tsim Sha Tsui. When we got there, I chuckled at the thought that the place was swamped with people fashionably dressed in black and gold. I was underdressed, and both Theo and I were in a brown ensemble. It was Diesel's fashion show. As soon as Theo showed his invite to the reception, we were escorted to the bar and were given a glass each of chilled Mo√ęt & Chandon. There was just a lot going on and there were a lot of people we both didn't wanna see, so he urged me to call Andy, a wine and spirits supplier, to ask whether we could pick up a bottle of Veuve. Andy replied in the affirmative. We then hurried out, without even finishing our drinks.


Blah, blah, bah... How it all ended, I got home at 6pm on Thursday. Hungover! But smilingly hungover.

__________


Off-tangent:
Out of extreme fatigue, I dozed off right after dinner tonight. When I woke up 30 minutes ago, I found a message on my phone which said: "Friend, are u the guy seeing Fly? Or is he seeing you? Top nga naman sya. Hehehehe!"


My response: "Twinks don't attract me. Not even the horniest of twinks. Natatawa ko pag tinitigasan sila. Pano ko magde-date ng twink? The!"

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Story Of A Midnight Phone Call

"Just know that whenever you need any help, I'll be here," I assured my friend.

"Thanks, Rye. I'll keep that in mind. So far, I can still keep it together. But I don't know how much longer I can do this." He sounded weak, but he showed his dauntless desire to hang on to that little thread of optimism, which was admirable. "I don't know how you do it," he continued. "You go through relationship drama like everyone else but you never fall in the misery trap like the rest of us do. I wish I can have your strength."

_____________

I do not always have the strength that people around me think I do. What I do have, are learnings from the many failures that I have been through because I was never afraid to take risks. Lessons that I learned because I always refused to ever get jaded or cynical. Those that, by being a self-flagellating, masochistic drama queen, I was able to juice out of every single encounter I have ever had --- be it a major long-term relationship, a fling, a blind date, or a one-night stand. For me, every human relationship we have ever had, no matter how brief, can be life-changing because every one of them has something to teach us. But only if we allow ourselves to learn from them.


It takes a lot of repetitive encounters to get used to the drama. But getting used to it isn't tantamount to not commiting the same mistake again. Eventually though, one'll realize that he made the same mistakes because he played the same game with the same strategy. And that doesn't make it any easier. It gets more difficult even; because just when one thought he knew better, he falters again just like before and the heartbreak alone is coupled with some kind of self-doubt. He begins to question his ability to learn or his capacity to live the lessons that he thought he knew so well. And then he commits the same blunder again and again until he is ready to truly be in a relationship that upholds the values that the trail of broken hearts and disillusionments behind him, had instilled in him.


So where am I now in terms of relationship maturity?


I would like to think that I am now in a position where I know for sure what I want out of a partner. That I know just which part of me to compromise and which part of me to not lose. I am in a position where I'd rather go on with my life and not wait for that next affaire d'amour to happen, so that if it never happens, I will not look at myself in the future with regret knowing that I missed out on my life waiting for someone to complete me when I, myself, am a complete entity. I am in a position where I know for certain that not everyone that meets my criteria for judging is good enough for me. I am in a position where I can say I know better.


Of course, this is not to say that I will be less willing to take risks. No. It's just that the next time I take a risk, I will know for sure why I think I should, and not only because he might be the one. This is also not to say that I won't be hurt ever again. It's just that the next time hurt and pain comes my way, it will be for a whole new lesson. Not a refresher of the things life has taught me again and again in the past.
___________

"You'll be fine. And when all this is over, you'll realize you have become a better person because of the lessons this experience taught you," I told him. And I knew in my heart he was gonna be fine. Outside the romance department, he has faced more of life's battle than me. Between the two of us, he is the stronger person. If I survived all those heartaches with my spirit intact, I am sure he will too.

He thanked me for everything I said on the phone and hung up feeling more enlightened than he was 5 minutes back. And I smiled, knowing that I was able to help a friend in need and knowing that I, myself had some lessons to learn from his experience.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I Have A Confession To Make

He was here. For a few hours. It was unplanned, but he was here. He says hi to all.

He visited his favorite place of our apartment.
And invaded it.
He still knew where to find everything he needed.

With his oh-so-lovable hubby, Nigel

Jeth came over to bond with us.
Mamu was cordial enough to open the gate for them
when they arrived while I was at Jeth's.


Saturday, May 24, 2008

About A Boy And His Monsters

He did it.

He faced his demons in the most daunting of circumstances and defeated them. He stared them staright in the eyes and crushed them triumphantly, leaving the battlefield with a smile. It was only then that it dawned on him he was more than ready for that moment. He was just scared. But he overcome it and fought. And he did it.

The boy is now ready for his next endeavour.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

About A Boy And Antonio

He knew this whole time that at some point, he will have to face his demons. And he was never scared of that day to come. In fact, he had always been looking forward to it.

It will be the day when he will be able to sing the songs they used to sing together. Or dance that piece that Antonio loved seeing him do. Or look at old pictures without remorse or sadness. Or make that experimental fish dish he came up with one night Antonio was painting in the den, back in the day they were practically living together.

It will be the day when he'd be ready to have another man sleep in his bed again. The bed that he bought and used exclusively for him and Antonio. After they called it quits on that very same bed, until not so long ago, he had invited a few men into it. But everytime each man dived in and dozed off on that bed, he felt that there was something inside him that he was cheating on. A lot of times, this bed had set him up for humiliation. Once, he had sex with a guy on this bed and, no matter how hard he tried to not entertain thoughts of Antonio, he went soft. He didn't learn from that experience, so he tried over and over again. Everytime he tried, the humiliation grew bigger and stronger, like a dark creature that looked like a worm in its early stages of life and has grown, over the course of a few sexual encounters, into a giant monster ready to eat him up completely if he didn't stop trying.

It will be the day when he will stop feeling sorry for passing up on the wonderful men he went out to date with, or even attempted to invite him out to dinners or movie. It will be the day he will be able to look at any man again without pre-empting the possibiity of a self-consumingly amazing romance. Or even friendship.

It will be the day he can start enjoying the company of their common friends without the need for cover-ups; without the fear that Antonio might have a glimpse of what his life is right now.

It will be the day he will be ready to visit home and not care that he might bump into him; or into any of their friends that might tell him how they adore or loathe Antonio's current boyfriend. It will be the day he will be willing to listen to their friends comparing how he was to how his current is as a partner. And he will be fair enough to genuinely say, "I'm sure he's a good person."

It will be the day when he will realize that all his efforts to get over him, have all paid off. That he is ready to see him and maybe be friends with him.

Today, his demons are presenting themselves right in front of him. And he doesn't know for certain whether he's ready to face them.

He doesn't know.

And it hurts him.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

S3 Ep6 of TD&RS, "The HK Gay Weekend", Out Now!

S3 Ep6 of TD&RS, "The HK Gay Weekend", Out Now!



This is the sequel to Season 1's


Did you think we were kidding

when we talked about them last year?

Here's proof we weren't. :-)




On location: HK Disneyland for the Gayday Celebration

and

on board the Volume boat for Floatilla 08



Monday, May 19, 2008

89 Hours,52 Minutes

I was sitting in front of pink becky in one corner of our green room today during my standby time. Little by little, I sank into my seat in an attempt to cover my face with the monitor. But my friend Jojo caught me.

"Umiiyak ka ba, Rye (Rye, are you crying)?", he asked

I denied. But I was crying. And here's why..
_____________

"You know, it's like... all these crazy people in my family are like in this insane frreefall and completely incapable of being happy. And then I look at saul who... has missed his life. Entirely. And I realize how lucky I am because I get to come home to someone who is kind, and caring, and who changes the light bulbs and... Marry me!"

"What?"

"I mean it. I.. I don't wanna wait. I don't want.. I wanna make this official."

"Because I changed the light bulbs?"

"No. Well, yeah, kinda. Because Scotty, that's who you are. I am completely, completely in love with you. I even love the things about you that I hate. Because you make me feel like I don't have to be anyone other than who I am and to me that feels like family, and that's what I want us to be. I want us to be a family because that never ends. I'm doing this all wrong. (kneels) Scotty I am asking you, will you
please marry me?

"Yes. Yes, Kevin, I will marry you."

Brothers & Sisters, S 02 Ep 15
No copyright infringement intended.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

49 Hours, 55 Minutes



I have dreamed that your arms are lovely,
I have dreamed what a joy you'll be.
I have dreamed every word you whisper.
When you're close,
Close to me.
How you look in the glow of evening
I have dreamed and enjoyed the view.
In these dreams I've loved you so
That by now I think I know
What it's like to be loved by you,I will love being loved by you.
Alone and awake I've looked at the stars,
The same that smile on you;
And time and again I've thought all the things
That you were thinking too.
I have dreamed that your arms are lovely,
I have dreamed what a joy you'll be.
I have dreamed every word you whisper.
When you're close, Close to me.
How you look in the glow of evening
I have dreamed and enjoyed the view.
In these dreams I've loved you so
That by now I think I know.
What it's like to be loved by you.
I will love being loved by you.


--I Have Dreamed,
The King & I Soundtrack

Thursday, May 15, 2008

We've Only Just Begun

...to really recover from the big party weekend that had just gone by. We got drunk, we got stupid, we got naked, jolly, cranky, spaced-out, sick, perky, famished, wet, horny, cute, annoying, skinny, slutty, shameless, photographed, asked out, rejected, loud, intimidted, intimidating, obnoxious... Throw in any adjective and I'm pretty sure at one point or another, we were it, in the course of one weekend.

Friday
Welcome Dinner for Keith

on the menu --- Keith's favorite Filipino dishes:
bistek tagalog;
ginataang sitaw at kalabasa with shrimps;
chicken adobo;
inadobong baboy sa patis;
and lots and lots of San Miguel Pale Pilsen

______________

Saturday morning
Disney Gayday

with Josh & Nick after the 2pm LK show

with Keith in a tiny red tank top and pouting Antonio

Dan & I with the two Andies


May 10 at the gayest place on earth


__________________

Saturday night
Karaoke at Steve's

(see the karaoke post here)

__________________
Sunday 10am-6pm
Floatilla

[Comment of the day: "You skinny bitch!"
-to Rye from different fags. Flu virus, anyone? ;-)]

minutes before getting on the boat, without a drop of alcohol in our bodies.


halfway to the Cheung Sha rendezvous.
Miro had changed into what was known that day as the showstopper outfit,
and a number of us had started taking our shirts off,
while some started feeling seasick

the lei --- the official Volume boat accoutrement

having a drink at the lower deck,
where one went if he wanted faster access to the john.
and to the bar.

the floats

the plan was to half-submerge my body in the water for pictorial purposes...

...until we got pulled into the water

Jethro and I starting to feel the buzz.
We had just gotten back from another boat where I was forced
(in an attempt to look cute to my crush for the day) to drink shots of tequila.

When the lesbians started swimming to our boat,
I started teasing the guys, "Mahiya naman kayo!
Mas hindi pa takot sa tubig yung mga babae kesa sa inyo!
(You ought to be ashamed of yourselves! The ladies are even less afraid of the water than you!)"
Few minutes later, with the aid of a floater,
Dan & Gil managed to paddle themselves 5 meters away from our boat.

Dancers. Bakla. Baklang dancers.
Where was I when this photo was taken?

Trying to convice myself I wasn't drunk.
And wondering what the food they served tasted like.

At 5pm, with no solid food and 2 liters of vodka in my system.

And the best triceps award goes to....

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I'm Broke But I'm Happy.

But I'm broke. Really.

I need an emergency meeting with my financial adviser.

Steve?

____________
Update: (an hour and some minutes later) My financial adviser is a superstar. I love him sooooo much. Big kiss, Tebs! #1 ka sa puso ko! (Ay, pwedeng #3? Rems & Mai occupy the #1 spot pala, and I'm saving #2 for my soulmate)

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Beckies Are Gonna Kill Me For This

I haven't really recovered from the crazy weekend that we had, which started on Friday. And I haven't even started collecting pics from the millions of cameras that were commissioned to document our foolishness. Having said that, please forgive me, my beloved readers (aries twp, chuchucaracas and mrs. j especially) that I can't post YET what you've been waiting for. I will in the coming days, I promise.

Meanwhile, here's a 4-minute snippet of the 35 hours that was. Enjoy while it lasts, until the beckies start threatening my life.

lifted without permission from Steve's blog

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Flu-tilla

Flu is gone, gone, gone! And I and my friends are oh-so-geared up for the big weekend ahead!


Our boat reservation for floatilla has been confirmed and paid for; Orders have been placed; Shift changes --- approved; Beach towels, Speedos, sunscreens and tanning oils --- packed; Cameras --- charged; Diet is working out right... Baby, we are ready to rumble!

Keith arrives tomorrow night from New York and we are having a little welcome dinner with friends from work at my place. Nothing big. Just a simple gathering of friends who missed him, and a few that he will be floatilla-ing with.

Saturday morning, Andy arrives from London with his friend --- just in time for the Disney Gayday.

from Disney Gayday 07: Julius, Xiao Fei, Hok Leung, me & Dan

Disney Gayday 07: Xiao Fei, Hok Leung, (Andy's then-boyfriend), Andy, me

Saturday night is karaoke night at Steve's with the beckies that won't be joining us for floatilla.

Sunday 8am is time allocated for last-minute push-ups, crunches and pull-ups.

Then we are off for the biggest, hottest, wettest, sexiest gay event of Hong Kong... Floatilla 2008! And this year, we are bigger and better! (bigger both in terms of pecs and arms measurements, and the group of friends joining the event) 15 of us on the Volume boat, one of the biggest boats this year with a 100-person capacity.

Floatilla 07, sailing to turtle island: James & me
(in a black tank top, black Bali pants and black feather boas.
camp! camp! camp! LOL)

Floatilla 07 on board the Gay Invaders Boat 1: James, Tony, me & Julius

Woohoo!

P.s. One of the best things my flu brought about is the dramatic reduction of body fat and retained water. Flu virus, anyone? ;-)

Friday, May 02, 2008

Excuse Letter

I am afflicted with flu. I'm quite better now but not yet fully recovered. No longer feverish, but my cold has gotten worse, it has started to affect my sinuses. My coughing fits are more frequent too. Few days ago, they would only happen at bedtime or when I laugh or talk excessively; but now, whenever I try to breathe through my mouth (in show especially), my barking gets out of control. I kinda understand well the cause of this atrophy. Besides that my body doesn't really respond well to medication and that HK weather is weird these days (plus the fact that the extreme humidity level allows bacteria and virus in the air to reproduce faster than I could ejaculate), I haven't really been the most responsible patient at all. Despite the sudden decline of my immune system, I still refused to let my social life lay low. No, no, no. Social life above all else.

Over the past few days too, I've been quite busy with extra-curricular activities. Here's one of my final outputs:



I'll be back really soon.