Put It In A Box For Me

HK Singers' 2010 Production of "Oliver!"

Whenever someone who had seen the show came up to me and said, "You did a wonderful job. You must be proud of yourself," there was always a split second where my mind debated as to whether to answer it with false modesty, or to take the compliment graciously and be thankful about it. And everytime I found myself in that situation since we moved into the theatre, even before we opened, I always answered--- with pride, conviction, and gratitude--- "I am, indeed, very, very proud."

HK Singers' Oliver has been the most challenging choreographic project I have ever taken on, by far. We had 65 performers in the chorus, 40 of whom were kids; 10 principals, 2 of whom--- Oliver and Dodger--- were kids; 22 musical numbers; and barely three months to stage the entire musical at only three times a week. The biggest challenge of them all: the movement style requirement was NOT my style.

Photo by Tim Bowman

http://www.bowmanphotos.com

But, with Phil Whelan's string and clear artistic vision & direction; Jodi Gilchrist's invaluable guidance; the trust they both bestowed upon me to take the liberty to explore artistically and to make directorial choices; my ever-reliable dance captain, Chow; Jacqueline Gourlay Grant's patience despite the many times my dance rehearsals had to eat up her vocal rehearsal time; and the vote of confidence that the cast showed me throughout the entire process, I delivered what was asked of me. And, modesty aside, I did it brilliantly. I wouldn't have, though, if not for these wonderfully talented and inspiringly daring people. Oh, I need to mention, some of them are sometimes hard-headed as well. That was an even bigger challenge.

The success of Oliver is particularly special to me because beyond the choreography, I jumped on-board the team with a mission in my heart. Over the past nine months that I have been totally immersed with the "Community Theatre" scene in HK, I have grown to dislike the term "community theatre". I have seen so many people use the term as an excuse for mediocrity, and I found that awfully disheartening. I think that while "community theatre" means that we do not have enough money to pay our actors, artistic team, production team, stage crew and orchestra the professional fee that they deserve, it should not mean that "this is all" we are capable of. Lack of training is forgivable. It is easy to remedy. But complacency, especially because this is just "community theatre" anyway, is not.

Photo by Tim Bowman

http://www.bowmanphotos.com

________

Oliver and Mrs. Bedwin looked out of the window, and they saw a lady walking with a basket full of roses. She was selling them for two blooms for a penny. The milkmaid followed, and then the lady that sold ripe strawberries. After a beat, the knife grinder walked on asking out loud who had knives he could sharpen.

Sitting in the dark, I was an outsider looking into their world where the sky was clear, the sun shone brightly, the roses were lush and red, the strawberries were ripe, sweet and juicy, everything was perfect and melodies and harmonies existed-- not worries and troubles. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to float with the soft but poignant music coming from the pit.

"Who will buy this wonderful morning? Such a sky you never did see! Who will tie it up with a ribbon and put it in a box for me? So I can see it at my leisure-- whenever things go wrong, and I would keep it as a treasure-- to last my whole life long," Oliver sang in the background.

A tear fell. It was our closing show, and I wish I knew who could tie it up in a ribbon and put it in a box for me.

Rye Bautista

Choreographer

A Milestone

"It's funny how you hold on for something for so long, and then you wake up one morning and you just don't need it anymore."

--Marshall, Broken Hearts Club

It's funny how I needed it for 18 years-- to soothe my pains, to heighten my joys, to socialize, to rejoice with, to help me digest my meals, to write with, to think with, to drink with, to be alone with, to be part of me in every milestone or every quiet moment of my life--- and then I woke up on the morning of June 19, 2009, and not need it anymore.

It's been a year.

The last.

The first.

Chiquitta Goes To Callbacks

I'm disappointed, but I'm not bitter. And I mean it, really. What people don't realize is that it would be tremendously stupid for me to be bitter about it.

The project is meant for people between 15 and 25 years old. I am 5 years past the age limit. And if they decided to not play by the rules and allowed me to get the part, then they'd be doing me a favor that I have to be super grateful for. If they decided otherwise, they'd be playing fair and square.

It had nothing to do with talent, as my friend Heidi puts it. I know that for sure. Hell, yeah, I do. But why am I disappointed? Because I was so close to playing one of my dream roles. SO close. I don't mind being disappointed. And I'm not shy to be honest about it. I find that disappointment is healthy for me because it makes me examine the situation in many different angles, and I am able to learn from it very well.

I, as a performer, have two dream roles: Kim in Miss Saigon, and Angel in Rent. The former is quite far-fetched, to say the least, while the latter, is so easy to achieve. Hey, I almost did. I may not be the strongest bari-tenor that one could ever find, but I knew deep in my heart that I can bring it. The heels, the wig, the dancing, the pizzazz, the character, the backstory--- I knew so well I could work all of it. I just didn't know I could work it all so damn well. Modesty aside, that is the biggest learning in this experience. Realizing that the limitations that I had set for myself in the past are not my real limitations. That there is so much more that I am capable of.

My Angel dream doesn't end here. In fact, this is the beginning. This experience gives birth to a performer that is a world closer to Angel.

So why am I writing this down and publishing online for all the world to see? Four reasons:

1) to pacify my friends who are worried that I might be depressed that I didn't get the role, because that's the effect that my Facebook status update sent out;

2) to serve as a reminder for me when I start to second-guess myself;

3) to thank Scott and Lindsey for the wonderful callback experience, and for objectively explaining to us the real situation (I look forward to working with you both in the future, and I wish you all the best for Rent. I'll be watching the opening!); and

3) to send out feelers for producers who might be interested in producing it in the future. Call me. Oh, I meant, "for producers who might be interested in producing the adult version of it in the future. But not in the near, near, near future. Way after the YAF production." Call me.

5.

Five years today.

Wow!

Happy anniversary, friends!

Happy FIFTH anniversary!

Ceasefire.

This photo was taken on the eve of Day 1 of our low carb, low salt, low sugar, high protein, high fiber diet programme which was supposed to run for 2 weeks.

April 22, 2010.

This was what we had.

Pinaupong manok, pritong isda, binagoongan leftover, munggo guisado with tuna and

crumbled smoked bacon, steamed white rice.

(Scolded [for lack of a better term] chicken, fried fish, pork in shrimp paste sauce leftover,

sauteed lentils with tuna and topped with crumbled smoked bacon, white rice)

After that night, our diet consisted of "healthy" protein like this one.

Baked catfish fillet.

Also fruits and greens. Fruits would be our breakfast and snack. And we're big on greens!

All kinds of them, from organic iceberg lettuce, to rocket, to choi sum. Raw or steamed.

Once, we felt the need for rice because we were having baked chicken marinated in rendang sauce.

So to have the feel and look of rice without the unwanted carbs, we paired it with mashed cauliflower.

What was planned to run for two weeks showed results that we loved! And so we decided

to keep following the same diet regimen, just tweaked a little bit so that we no longer lost

any more weight since we have achieved our desired weight anyway.

It's been more than a month. But tonight, we decided to go for a break. Just tonight.

We didn't have rice, or anything as sinful as that. We had something... a little bit more sinful.

The photo disgracefully failed to do Vanessa's chocolate mousse justice. But it was divine! We had a big slice each,

and we're not guilty. Tomorrow's another day. And we have some more left for tomorrow.

Thanks, Vanessa!

And Alanis Said It Right

New shower curtains.

Immaculately white floor tiles.

Spotless bathroom floor.

Re-designed lace curtains.

New floor mats.

Polished toilet bowl.

Dust-free and reorganized console table.

Freshly-made couch.

Filipino-style pork spring rolls.

Fish fried with minimal salt,

topped with chopped tomatoes with calamansi juice.

Bean sprouts with tofu sauteed in garlic, onions, tomatoes and fish sauce.

12-piece Bobbi Brown brush set.

That's what the Universe decided to send my way after a day of having to deal with the effects of misaligned stars and cosmic retrogrades. Not a bad deal, I must say.

The dishes have been done; and the layer of sticky, saline dust that my evaporated hardworking sweat has left has been rinsed off. It's time to open that bottle of Merlot.

Thank you, Providence. Thank you for the redemption. Thank you for today's lessons. Thank you for my flatmates, Gil & Razel, whom you made instruments to give this day a happy ending. Thank you for this wine.

And thank you for my first Saturday off in 2010.

"Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face"

Alanis Morisette, Ironic

The HK Beckies (Heart) E

Hi all!


The event turned out a lot more well-attended than we had hoped it would be, and it's all because of your love and generous support.

We have been able to raise HK$8000.00 in cash and a few more in pledges! This may not be enough to pay for Enan's entire hospital bill, but it will surely go a long, long way.

Razel, the unsung hero for the night, was our all-around girl:
SM, PM, Talent Coordinator, Spinner, Accountant, P.A.

Enan and Steve are both overwhelmed by the amount of good vibes than even "friends they've never met" have been sending their way. They are tremendously grateful. Let us continue praying for Enan's swift recovery (he continues to fight, and is winning the battle impressively), and for resilience for not just for him but also for Steve, and every single person that lends them faith and hope.

Our CWL gurls, Sis. Nelsie Cola and Naemahhh Cyprus (not shown in pic)
do their rounds after the Homily.

Also, if someone still wishes to send in their monetary help, please feel free to message Rye, Miro or any of the Beckies, who can coordinate fund transfers and remittances with Steve.


Again, in behalf of Enan and Steve, we, the Beckies here in HK, Manila, Davao, Dubai, London, SG and everywhere in the world, give our sincerest, warmest thanks to everyone who supported that great Becky undertaking, whether by coming, performing, donating or just plain sending us good vibes. Enan will come out bright and shiny from this episode and it will be glory not just for him, but for all of us--- his loving friends.


Kisses & glitters,
The HK Beckies

Repost: On Loving and Forgiving

*from almost 2 years ago. A lot of things have changed, but the effect of this one scene on me hasn't. Marah & Steve, you remember this? *wink*

-----------------------------------

Their counsellor strictly instructed them after their last session to not see, or speak to each other for two weeks. After that, they were to see each other at a place and time they both agreed on, if they both decided it was worth forgetting their bitter past and throwing away all the anger and vile, and move on from there.

On that day that would dictate their future (whether as individuals or as a couple starting anew), she threw away all logic that ruled her life in all ways, for always. She was scared that maybe the two weeks they were given to think things over would not turn out to her favor. But she faced her fears. Dauntlessly, she stripped herself bare of all her defenses. She was vulnerable. But her willingness to give it another shot, her willingness to take a chance at a possibly lovelier "second time around" empowered her.

She started to well up --- out of overwhelming hope that he'd show up too, and fear that he might not. In the midst of a plethora of strangers, her eyes caught a familiar face whose hope and fear were also written all over. And in one fleeting, but poignant moment, they kissed. Words were unnecessary. That kiss, that embrace, that meaningful stare --- were all they needed to seal the seven years of mistakes and assure that this time they would try to make it work. Those were all they needed for either of them to know that they'd both been forgiven. Those were all they needed to validate their love --- one so true, it was well worth the risk they both were taking.

On that poetic Brooklyn Bridge, Miranda Hobbes and Steve Brady signified their forgiveness and love for each other. And reaffirmed their vow of etenity.

At that very moment, the person on the next row of the moviehouse decided to try to figure out which of the two was giving out a more sissy sob --- Marah or I. Steve later said he was positive it was I.

You Lose Some, You Win Some

After 20 minutes of walking around Wan Chai looking for the Morrison Hill Public Pool, I decided to give up and go to the one on Harbour Road instead. It was gonna be a long walk from where I was, but at least I knew for sure where Harbour Road was. All I needed to do was walk on the road, and I was certain I would eventually find it. And boy, was I right!

Sweaty and smelling like an 8-year old who's been playing in the heat of the sun for hours, I faced the receptionist-- a middle-aged local lady---, took off my sunnies, smiled and asked politely, "Where do I pay to use the pool?"

She smiled back, reached for something under the desk and held it out in front of me. It was a printed sign in English that said something like "This Public Swimming Pool is only used for group training." Great.

I said bye. But before I left, I ran to the loo and did a #2. If they won't let me swim, at least make that pitstop useful for my excretory system.

I went back to Hennesy Road to take the tram, but I was in the middle of two stops which were far apart from one another. In my efforts to find a cab, I walked to the side streets and lo and behold! I was on Oi Kwan Road. I just needed to walk up further and I'd find #7--- exactly what I had been roaming around for all morning. Morrison Hill Public Pool was so close, I could smell the chlorine. Imagine the thrill I felt when I saw a red arrow that said "Entrance to the Public Swimming Pool" I followed it, and as soon as I saw the ENTRANCE sign, my phone beeped. I opened the message while I continued walking.

"You got the job. We'll email you the details." It was from Emma, the choreographer I had auditioned to about an hour back. I smiled, and looked up expecting to be greeted by the receptionist. Instead, a notice greeted me saying the pool was closed for renovation from May 1 to June 30 2010.

Off to Causeway Bay I go. The Victoria Park Public Pool. After a relaxed tram ride and a stroll across the park that was probably as big as the Araneta Center, I found the entrance, ran to the turnstile and prepared to dood my Octopus. But I was stopped by a friendly middle-aged man. It was 11:50. The morning session was about to end at 12, and they wouldn't admit anyone until 1.

I bought my green juice and sat under the trees for a while. Facebooked, Facebooked, Facebooked and then I called T, and my friends Verna, and James. James suggested the Public Library, which I thought was a bright idea. It was quite a walk from where I was, but I went anyway. I got there only to find out that they, too, didn't admit anyone between 12 and 1. I looked at their clock. 12:50. Nevermind. It was time to go back to the pool anyway.

At 1:05, I was in my trunks, finally diving into the pool. Fi-nal-ly!

I headed off, an hour and a half later to Central for lunch: Mix's Liquid Sunshine Smoothie. It was an hour and some to my chiropractor appointment, so I thought of taking a walk, and people-watching. Humidity today was tolerable. Such a waste to spend the afternoon indoors and air-conditioned. And... Just before I opened the door, the rain poured down heavily. Goodbye, walk! Goodbye, people-watch! It's alright--- I'll start writing a blog entry.

Fifteen minutes before my scheduled appointment, the rain stopped. It was time to walk down Wyndham Street.

It's early in the evening, and there are more wins to count-- a 60-min full body massage, home-cooked dinner for T, and the Shu Uemura Tokyo Lash Bar 2010 Show (Thanks to Noelito for the pass.). There is now a bit of a delay in the schedule, because the rain has held T stuck somewhere in Causeway Bay. I could throw a tantrum. Or I could finish this entry and count it as an additional win.

What's the score so far?

Aba, Enan!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar
That tomorrow
There'll be sun!

Just thinkin' about
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs,
And the sorrow
'Til there's none!

When I'm stuck with a day
That's gray,
And lonely,
I just stick out my chin
And Grin,
And Say,
Oh!

The sun'll come out
Tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on
'Til tomorrow
Come what may
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You're always
A day
A way!

It's overwhelmingly heartwarming to see how much love and support people are sending your way. I wish there was a way to turn them into something physical-- something tangible-- so that we can box them and send them to you. That way you could see them at face value.

But knowing you, you will just laugh at all these. You will smile like a kid, say "Thanks!" in a funny manner, and then tease us about it. Because that's just how you are. You never take part in our episodes of mushiness. And if you ever do, you just do so in jest. To annoy us, even.

I can't wait to see how you will poke fun at us when all this is over. But I'm not intimidated. Steve and I have already planned our resbak. Bring it on, Enan!

So now, I'm gonna say this one last time, because I know that the more people convince you, the more you play hard to get. Please get well pronto and come back here to HK real soon, because we have a lot of threads, sms'es, emails, PM's to chuckle about. We're almost there, friend. Just keep holding on, come what may. We've been through the worst of times-- it only gets better from here. I have faith. You should, too.

I love you.