I'll Say This Just Once.

..

For your ego's sake,

listen when I say

"Stay away."

For I am

NOT

an easy prey.

..

Inuman Naaaaaa!

Season2 Episode6 of The Dan and Rye Show, "Tagay Na, Mga Kasuy!", is out now!

Inuman, nomohan, toma, lasingan, tagayan… usapang lasingan itoh! Well, not really.

Don’t forget to email us your comments, shout-outs, suggestions, etc. thedanandryeshow@yahoo.com. You can leave your comments in our mypodcast.com page too! and also, please join our yahoo group. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thedanandryeshow. Enjoy the show, mga kasuy!

Everything Happens For A Reason

I finally decided to buy a new Ipod to replace the one that I had that was stolen at work two weeks ago. After calling Fortress, Broadway and Designer Group, and asking the staff to check their other branches for stocks, it dawned on me that Ipod videos are SOLD OUT in all of Hong Kong.

Frustration.

So I went to Times Square to get some nice Puma shoes for myself and for my ex. I got there only to find out that the store was closed for renovation.

Frustration.

As soon as I got out of the mall, I called my friend, the ever-reliable shopping buddy, Lawrence and told him to meet me up at CK Fashion Island. I wanted to buy a bag just so that my trip to Hong Kong Island wouldn't turn out to be an utter waste of time and energy.

Then I saw a fruit stand that makes freshly-blenderized juices. I asked for a banana shake. The vendor realized, as she was about to make it, that their blender wasn't working. She gave me the banana instead and suggested that I just eat it while walking.

Frustration.

I walked in the CK store and two bags instantly caught my attention: a black canvas tote bag with leather handles & top piping, and which carries the CK pen that is their standard for this season's bags (Image shown below);

and a white canvas duffel bag with dark brown leather handle & piping, and which also carries the CK standard pen (Image shown below).

After about 15 minutes of deliberating which one to buy: the black tote OR the white duffel, I remembered what my friend, Steve (funny he once referred to me as "material girl" when he is the one who I am quoting now), once said: "Honey, we don't say OR, we say AND."

Not wanting another frustration for today, I said to the salesgirl: "I'll get both."

And so here they are, my newest roommates:

Now I understand why the Universe conspired to not give me that Ipod or those Puma shoes -- so that I could get the deer skin that I adopted a month ago, playmates.

Note to my mommy: Rems, it's my birthday month! I'm allowed to splurge, aren't I?

...

What Are We Teaching Our Kids?

Last week, Ellen*, one of my fellow dancers came rushing out of the stage after our final pose, pissed by a Chinese kid sitting with his mom in the audience. The kid was around 8. During the part where we, the dancers go up the bleachers to interact with the spectators, he reached for Ellen's hand and had her touch his stiff dick while he stared amusingly at Ellen's boobs.

=====

On Sunday, as I was on the train going home from work, I bumped into a Filipina domestic helper, Donna*, who spent a day at the park with the daughter of her boss. The kid was probably 6, and was playing with Donna's celfone. Donna asked for her fone back. The kid refused to hand it back. Then Donna raised her voice a bit to intimidate the little girl and said, "That's not a toy. Stop playing with it."

The girl started to cry and screamed at her, "No! Fuck you!"

=====

Every afternoon, a pack of little boys from my provincial neighborhood, their ages ranging from 5-9, gather together at the footbridge and collect big stones. Then they disperse strategically, almost like a SWAT team, around the vacant lot where dogs flock around 5pm. At their leader's signal, they throw stones at the dogs and scream "Tiu!" (shortened cantonese curse word which in English means "I will fuck your mother.") to their heart's content. The elders who see them just laugh it off.

=====

My generation grew up on morning TV shows like Sesame Street, Batibot, Flying House, Rainbow Brite and Mga Kwento Ni Lola Basyang. At 10am every morning, we were glued to the tv with shows that carried the Worry-Free Kid TV logo. There was no cable tv or the internet to "corrupt" our innocence. And yet, we grew up rebellious and with values & morals that the generations born before us think of as intolerable and worthy of censure.

What, then, will become of those after us?

*not her real name

Eat, Drink & Be Merry!

S2 Ep4 of TD&RS, Out Now!

Dan and Rye expose their penchant for food and (free) alcohol as they attack the HK Food Expo 2007!

Email us! and join our YGroup. Listen na, mga kasuy!

When Sorry Doesn't Make It Anymore

A few hours after the sms argument I had with my colleague, I saw him at work on Sunday morning. I was smoking outside the theater and there he was, a few meters from me talking on the phone. A few breaths later, he hung up and sat beside me. I extinguished my ciggy and started heading for the door.

He said, "Hey, I'm sorry about last night."

I ignored him.

Fast forward to --- 5-minute call to places.

I was putting on my show shoes and then he came up to me and said, "Rye, I'm sorry. I really am."

"I don't wanna talk about it," I replied coldly.

"I want to."

"I spent too much energy this morning to come to work positive and smiling. I won't let you ruin it. If you really wanna talk, talk to somebody else about it. Not me." Walk out.

Fast forward to --- 7:40ish pm, just a few minutes before the volleyball game.

I got a lengthy sms from him that started with "Rye, I owe you an explanation." Wait a minute, just less than 24 hours ago, you said you didn't owe me, or anybody an explanation, didn't you? The sms was polite and apologetic in tone. The bottomline: he was drunk when we were on it. And when he woke up after that big drinking spree, he realized he crossed the line and that his being hammered was no excuse to act that way. And he felt bad because I am one of the very few people at work that he considers true friends. Good thing he realized that. But I don't care anymore.

He doesn't care, I don't care. We're even.

My reaction to the sms: "This is not the first time, ******. And your morning-after sorries don't justify your drunken rudeness anymore. Let's just forget this episode ever happened. And to save ourselves from more of these in the future, let's also just forget this friendship ever existed."

Shortly after, the referee blew his whistle to signal the first serve for the night.

Accidental Entry

I am writing this entry drunk and looking (and feeling) stupid. Pardon me for all the typos and incoherence I might commit.

It's a Saturday night. My giood friend, Chris and I had planned to go oiut and have a drink and be home by midnight.

Well, I am drunk. It's 3:36am, I am not home and Chris is nowhere to bge found.

I guess the lesson to be learned is: I just don't have the discipline that I thought I have. Well, at kleast I have the decency to not call insick tomorrow. Unlike my alternate.

At about 8pm tonight, he called me to say he couldn't come to work because he had a jod interview in Macau. I sounded cold. Then he texted me, saying:

Sorry for being off, got shot to do and I don't care anymore.

I will make iot up to you."

I replied:

At least care that your trackmate also

has shit to attend to.

He said:

Listen, I don't need to explain to anyone

whjat I have or need to do so

don't giove me that trackmate bullshit.

I told you, so you know.

What you or anyone thinks of me,

I don't care. If you can't do it then I will go in.

Let me know.

Me:

I can't do it.

A ftrined:

Why are you being so hard on him?

Me:

I am not.

He doesn't care. So I don't have to care.

Now, we're even.

Not out of being drunk or anything, but I really think he's the most abusive person I have ever met. I... well.../

Good Night! GOtta be up in 3 hours to say hi to my friends at the morning party. Then straight to work.

For My Wife

Not all dancers are capable of doing multiple pirouettes. And not all dancers are blessed with the heart and the guts to even try.

Be proud. Be very proud. You may not have achieved that extraordinary feat despite the many desperate tries, but you gave your doubles an elegant finish --- with laudable poise, grace and dignity. The audience applauds you more than those who did quadruples but ended with a collapsed back and a knee injury. You propped your foot with conviction on the floor; others just didn’t have enough strength to hold their passé leg. They presented their finish-in-fourth with a smirk while you did it with a genuine, contently victorious smile.

Remember what our teachers always say: “It’s not how many turns you do that measures the strength of your core and the proficiency of your technique. It’s how clean your single pirouette is.”

Who knows, maybe next time around. Just don’t be scared to try again.

==============================

Meanwhile, let me leave you with a song that helped me cope:

Journal Entry Of A 27-Year Old Gay Guy Acting As Though He Was 13

10:30 – 11:15 am Briefing/ Warm-up class
12:00 – 12:30 pm Show 1
12:50 – 1:30 pm Rehearsal
2:00 – 2:30pm Show 2
3:15 – 6:00 pm Rehearsal

What time is my lunch break?
When do I get to rest?
What time will I work out?

I’m a brat at work. That, I admit. I could’ve made a big deal out of today’s schedule. I could’ve ranted and whined non-stop. But I didn’t. Ok, maybe I showed my disappointment for about 5 minutes, but that’s it. I snapped out of it faster than I could even say “snap”.

Today, I'm smiling. It's a beautiful Wednesday. And nothing can ruin it.

Because of your text messages this morning.

Odd, I know. I barely know you. I don’t even know your real name. But I blush everytime my phone beeps and it’s your name that registers. I smile everytime I re-read (over and over) your messages. And… well… yeah… I talk to my friends about you.

God! I feel like I’m 13 again. And I love it!

"My heart skips a beat

Whenever you are near

And I just dont know

What Im gonna do

Oh how I wish

That you were here

Oh how I wish

That you were near

Holding me tight

Spending some time

Wish you were mine"

-Gabrielle, I Wish

written on Wenesday, 22 Aug 07

Not Just Another House Guest

“What’s it like to be a ‘celebrity blogger’?” I asked.

It was a Monday night. I had been busy all day making beef stroganoff and mexican chicken wings while helping out our cleaning lady do her job to get things done faster. Dan was at work. Earlier in the afternoon, Dan met up with him and got him in the park. Chris was home, sleeping all day.

By 9pm, we were all seated around the dining table: Dan, Chris, him and me --- talking about life, love, family, blogging, career, friends and sexuality. Dan was cerebral in his questions, as usual while I was a bit more emotional. Chris managed to keep quiet all night, hiding his unusual shyness under the guise of being tired after pumping iron and playing with the treadmill. He answered the questions casually and matter-of-factly.

After a hearty dinner, 3 liters of wine, some jello shots, a few cans of beer and almost 2 hours’ worth of podcast material, we called it a night. Too late a night though for him to go back to the hotel. He decided to stay over.

Fun night! And more than the fun, it's been an honor for The Dan and Rye Show to have had in our studio our favorite listener (he insists he’s a fan, not a mere lurker) --- celebrity blogger and 1/3 of the troikasters --- Joel McVie.