?

i don't know what to say. i was verbally and physically assaulted by two drunk men on my way home from a long walk. my left leg still hurts. and my right cheek still feels the heat caused by a rough hand that hit it. but that's purely physical. very easy to ignore.if and when i can't anymore, pain relievers are very easy to find. very cheap and can be bought over the counter.

i wish they made pain relievers for that which is truly difficult to ignore. and anti-hoping pills. i wish that after we talked last night when he told me that his ex kissed him on christmas day and he realized that he wasn't over him yet, there was something i could take to alleviate the pain. and even though he told me he wasn't sure if i could still make him happy after his realization, it could've been alright with a second dosage.

right now, i wish, there was something i could have to make me sleep and not saty up all night hoping he'd come back to me; hoping he'd choose me over him; hoping that last night i said the right words to earn his love again.

or better yet, i wish they designed poisons specially for exes who are up to ruin the current relationships of their past loves. then the world could be the perfect haven for legitimate lovers.