Friday, August 29, 2008

About A Friend And Another Friend

Friendship is a foundation, not a hindrance.

He sees you every weekend, when the house lights go down and the lasers start to ignite. He knows everything that goes into your system, and how much of it your body can take. He knows how it affects you and how you want it to affect you. He's seen your eyes, felt your sweat, heard you sing when you reach that moment of oblivion. He's seen you in your happiest state of self-destruction. Still, he never counted you any less of a person.

He knows your relationship drama. He knows your frustrations as a lover and your frustrations as a beloved. He knows what your lover could do to make you happier. He knows how much happier you could be, if only. He knows the games that you play and whom you play them with. Still, he never judged you.

He knows you inside out.

He knows which part of Love For Siam makes you blush.

He knows that you don't like Miss Saigon.

He knows how that guy from his past has hurt you, because that guy was also from his past.

He's your type and you are his.

You have the same guardian who loves you both equally because you are the same in so many ways; and yet, very different in ways that are complimentary.

He --- the guy in the current situation --- should be the only hindrance. Not friendship.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

I'm Ready. Are You?

My Facebook status today reads:

"Rye Bautista, in exactly a month from today, shall transform from a hyena to a human being."

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Not In 284 Years

Not since the "...Neanderthals roamed the planet, on September 12, 57,617 BC to be precise", and not until after 284 years from now will an event like this will happen.

It's worth knowing, whether or not people (or you yourself) think you're a superstar.

Got this from one of my Facebook Groups,
Ordinary Human Beings With Extraordinary Commitment For Boundaryless World, and more info available on the BBC News site ---

Two moons on 27 August 2008.

27th Aug the Whole World is waiting for......... .... Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will Cultivate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles off earth.

Be Sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am, It will look like the earth has 2 moons. The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it Again.

watch it otherwise it will not come back again in ur life..

Hey you! Mind if I watch the two moons from your rooftop? I'll bring the champagne and the flutes. Just bring a lighter to light my cigarette.

Monday, August 25, 2008

You Should Be Glad It's Over

an exchange of messages on facebook

12:52am Jay
hi Todd! for the record, that night u walked out from Joe's, Dennis said "Jay is here", not "Jay is being fucked by several guys". he wouldn't say such thing because i wasn't. :-) u must've heard it the wrong way.

1:16am Todd
well..maybe u shouldn't even bother

1:20am Jay
don't be upset, Todd. i am trying to be as mature about this as i can.

1:21am Todd
leave it...

1:28am Jay
ok. thanks! good night! ;-)

I find it ridiculous how some people can brag about being brutally blunt, but can't have enough pride to stand by their words. Hideous. Jusssst hideous.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A Dance Project

"...His sincerest gratitude goes out to Belle & Jojo for giving him the opportunity to create; and to Neo for their moment of oblivion that, albeit brief, provided him with the inspiration."

-an excerpt from my bio for "Give My Regards To Broadway"

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Friend In Need

Though I knew it was utterly embarrassing to be buzzing people online at such an ungodly hour, I disturbed a few of my friends in the middle of the night to ask for help. My request was:

change the word in parenthesis: "Due to the (manyness) of the points you raised in your email..."

It was a fairly easy task. It was nothing more than just a game of synonyms. But when it's past midnight and all you want to do is sleep (or drink or touch yourself), and a friend comes bothering you, desperately seeking (as if his life depended on it) for a word that sounds more sophisticated than "manyness", you black out. It becomes more difficult to think.

Friend 1: anong kasunod ng phrase na yan?
Ryeness: "...i am not answering any of them."
Friend 1: Pwede bang, "It will take too much of our time to answer each of the many points you raised in your email. Instead,..."
Friend 1: Or something like that.. Or "Instead of answering your email point-by-point, here's my quick reply: " Rule #1 I learned during my business writing class: "Write as you speak." Business writing is not creative writing.
Ryeness: but this is not business writing, huns...
Friend 1: what is it?
Ryeness: it's sophisticated flirting by correspondence!
Friend 1: ah.. di mo sinabi agad.. Eh di ganito.. "After pondering so hard and long about the points you raised, I was enticed to cum to you with a quickie." Flirtatioous di ba?
*Friend 1 is an Advertising Practitioner by profession (he garnered high marks in Business Writing while in University) and a Casanova by heart (if Flirting 101 was offered in the University, he'd be the topnotcher in his class). He flirts. Trust me, he does, at any given moment. (Oh! Come to think of it, he never flirted with me. Oh well...)

Friend 2: what if rephrase mo na lang?
Ryeness: parang ganun na nga..
Friend 2: "due to the numerous points you raised". keri ba yan?
Ryeness: kailangan ko istress ung "being many" rather than what was many in his email..
Friend 2: rephrase na nga ang kasagutan ng suliranin na yan
Friend 2: nanginginig ako sa inis, friend. di ko kinakaya ang papansing toh!
Ryeness: hahawakan ko, ikaw sasapak? lol
Friend 2: lason na lang para less violent. para walang violence pala
*Friend 2 is a performer by profession and has undergone Stress Management courses.

Ryeness: i need a word that sounds like enormity or magnitude
Friend 3: yeah i see what you're trying to get at...
abundant, copious, diverse, extensive, infinite, large, lots, many, multiple, multitudinous, plentiful, several, untold, voluminous, legion, multitudinous, myriad - synonyms for numerous maybe you can try something from here
*Friend 3 is my only friend whose bedside reading is the Thesaurus.

Friend 4: ano yung karugtong? what comes after the ellipses?
Ryeness: "...i am not answering any of them."
Friend 4: "manyness" may be unnecessary. you may want to consider fragmenting the sentence instead.
Ryeness: i tried... didn't work. i wanna stress the "being many" i need a word that sounds like enormity or magnitude
Friend 4: or you may use the word "plethora"
Ryeness: perfect! you are a superstar!
Friend 4: "i have not replied to you due to the plethora of emails you have sent me"
Ryeness: i'd marry you if ur status didn't say "married",
Friend 4: hahaha!:P ikaw talaga! if that meant, thank you, i would say "welcome, Rye."
Ryeness: which, by the way, made my ashamed of myself for trying to flirt with you on ***
Friend 4: hahaha why would you be ashamed anyways?
*Friend 4 holds a special place in me. Not in my heart. In me.

Three hours later, I got to write my letter:

"Due to the superfluity of the points you raised in your most recent email,
I am writing my response in a point-by-point fashion.
My answers are in caps and enclosed in parentheses."

*How could I have forgotten my favorite word in high school? In my attempt to sound smarter than I actually was, I used it every single day after I first read it from a book that I was assigned to write a paper on. I would always find something to talk about that would allow me to just utter the word. At times I couldn't, I said it anyway and wished whoever I was talking to didn't know what it really meant.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Walk It Out

It's funny what people subject themselves to, before they realize it's not worth fighting for anymore.

It's even funnier what people subject themselves to, in order to find a way out, after they've decided to retreat.

Funny how much energy, time, and self-esteem people expend before they realize that the door is the easiest way out. That they just have to stand up; gather their things: the baking dish, the toothbrush, cigarettes, bag, shoes, and what-have-you's; walk out; shut the door behind them (bang it for more cinematic effect); and never look back. (At least until the lift opens and transports them to a safer place --- the lobby.)

photo credit: Planet Hood

It's over.

Tapos na.

Lessons have been learned. My life has changed. Take a bow. You played your role well.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

A Laugh A Day Keeps Schizophrenia Away

Here's a cute share-worthy email I got from a good friend, Tita Ge. Read on and decide which you would press.

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital. Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep or between beeps. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are a blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Entertaining Myself While Baking Belle's Birthday Cake

I have exactly 18 minutes to kill before the oven ding's. So I'm gonna answer Val's meme.

THE RULES: People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves. Tag 8 people. Those who are tagged cannot refuse. You cannot tag the person who tagged you.

1. What would make your day worse?
--- not having something to drink at home when I need it the most.

2. At what age do/did you wish to settle down?
--- now! but he disappeared.. just like that! *sob* (hehe! ang cheap!)

3. What's your favorite genre in music?
--- electronica

4. What time did you sleep last night?
--- 2:30am

5. What are you doing right now?
--- waiting for Belle's birthday cake to get done; smoking; having a beer; answering this meme.

6. Is there someone you're thinking of right now? Who?
--- no one.

7. When you encounter a sad moment, what do you do?
--- conceptualize a dance piece.

8. If you were given a chance to choose a date for answering YES to your loved one what month is that?
--- duh! give me a loved one first. that's more important.

9. What makes your day complete?
--- a glass of good chardonnay and a good jack off

10. List 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
--- VAL: (una sa lahat, ang fishing ha!) nurturing, fun, witty

11. How do you cope with boredom?
--- by blogging, reading, dancing, or jacking off

12. Is there someone you love (d) who have hurt you in any way? Who?
--- the y all have, at some point. you don't love somebody enough if he isn't capable of hurting you.

13. What is your dream?
--- to be a tai-tai for the arts.

14. If you have one wish, what would you wish for?
--- a rich, sexy, loving, gorgeous, lenient boyfriend

15. Describe summer 08 in less than 10 words
--- crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy! (9 words)

16. Do you believe that dreams do come true?, Why?
--- yes, but only if we are dauntless enough to make them come true.

17. What will you do if your loved one ask you to go out??
--- say yes and then shave.

18. What do you look forward in 2008?
--- my big career move in september

19. What song is playing in your head right now?
--- "Complainte dela Butte" by Rufus Wainwright

20. Who is your favorite singer?
--- Lea Salonga

21. Is there anything about you that you would like to share?
--- nothing. the people who matter most to me know everything about me. those who do not matter so much, know a lot less. i'd like to keep it that way.

Sorry for putting you guys on the spot, but I'd like to see you post something, at least once in a blue moon. I'm tagging Steve
(bilang reinforcement sa pag-tag sa yo ni Val), Law (dahil ang tagal mong nawala), Dan, Jethro, Ayi, Josh, Baby Chris (kasi kailangan ny na mag-blog! mawawalan na ko ng trabaho! hello!), at Jomangt7 (dahil ang blog ko post ko, one of these days ay tungkol sa yo).

Monday, August 11, 2008

What's Love Got To Do With It?

Dr. L was in his desk, scanning my medical file as I walked through the door of his clinic. "How are you, Ryan?", he greeted me warmly.

"I'm generally fine, except for the terrible migraine attack that I had this morning.", I replied.

"Same side?"


He took my blood pressure and my temperature, both of which registered normal. He then asked, "Did you drink last night?"

"I only had coffee, which put me to sleep."

"No alcohol?"

"Not a drop," I proudly answered.

"Besides the coffee, what was the last thing you did before going to bed last night?"

"I wrote an email."

Trying to be funny, Dr. L declared, "That could've caused your migraine."
One hour past midnight, I received an unexpected sms from a man from my not-so-distant past. It read:

"I just read your blog. I didn't know until then that your contract wasn't renewed. I won't even say 'I hope you're ok.', coz I know you are. You're never not ok. I know that you will get yourself in a better place from here and I want you to know that I am proud of you, even as early as now, for the achievement that you are about to accomplish. I hope I am still allowed to be proud of you. I hope you don't hate me anymore."

After a short, yet emotional deliberation between my Id, my Ego and my Super-ego (with occasional intervention by my alter ego), I decided it wouldn't be too destructive to send him a response. I had already typed my opening sentence on my phone when I came up with a more appropriate way to answer him. I erased everything I had written and sent him the following message instead:

"Read your email tomorrow morning."

My email went:

"Hate is such a harsh word. To hate someone is a heinous thought. That's why I never hate. I dislike or abhor, but never hate. And even if my morals allowed me to hate someone, I will never have the will or the reason to hate you.

I tried so hard to dislike you --- abhor you even. It was the easiest way to forget you. To stop myself from hoping you'd find it in your heart to give "us" one more chance. To stop myself from wondering what I could do to revive what we lost. I tried with all my might. I tried day in and day out. I failed. For despite how horrible our ending was, despite your flaws as a lover, and despite how frustrating it had been on my part to hold on to that thin strand of hope that broke eventually, I still can't deny that you are a wonderful person. Despite every reason I could find to be angry at you, the truth stands. And the truth is that you showed my family and friends nothing but love and kindness.

I may have learned to get over the thought of loving you romantically, and I may not see a lifetime partner in you anymore; But I have never learned to love you any less, and I haven't stopped seeing the beautiful soul you are made of."
Of course, I knew Dr. L was kidding when he said his last remark. But I just couldn't help but wonder, does love --- romantic or not--- have anything to do with it? My migraine, I meant.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sunday Wisdom

"Never seem more learned than the people you are with.
Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden.
Never pull it out to count the hours,
but give them what they need when you are asked."

Saturday, August 09, 2008

In Memoriam

Yesterday, August 8, was Oca's 6th death anniversary.

I've been too preoccupied getting ready for my next big career move, I forgot.

Forgive me, Oca? Not remembering without being reminded by Rems doesn't mean I love you any less.

You will always be the only man I adore, love and respect hideously. Adore, love and respect --- in the present tense. The man by which I measure the worth of the men I fall in love with. The man who shaped me into the person I am now. The man I can only wish to be.

I love you, Oca! I know you know that. Thank you for everything.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

About A Mom And Her Son

on MSN

Mom says (1:03 AM):

it's happening again. and i'm getting tired of it.

Son says (1:03 AM):
what is happening again??

Mom says (1:07 AM):
your dad getting scared again, disappearing AGAIN after a weekend of oblivion, without a word of notice, even out of the slightest respect for me.

Son says (1:09 AM):
well, he told you already about who he was and how things work for were warned ....that's the consequence of seeing him

there are just two options cut ties or accept this harsh reality

Mom says (1:09 AM):
i know. and i expected it too, in fact i was prepared for it. nakakasawa lang. it challenged me in the beginning. amused me even.

now i'm just tired of it.

Son says (1:10 AM):
bayaan mo lang. bandang huli when it becomes a norm siya na mismo ang quuquestion sa sarili niya

Mom says (1:12 AM):
nakakainsulto lang kasi --- i guess that's the most disconcerting part.

hmph! ewan! ok naman ako buong araw. nairita lang siguro ko ngayon dahil ineempacho ako.

Son says (1:13 AM):

hayyy! nay dont let him get to you. alcohol lang ang nakakagawa sa atin nyan. minsan hindi pa nga

Mom says (1:14 AM):
agree. he's not worth it.

Son says (1:17 AM):
ang realization ko nga minsan what we think is insulting or rude might just be a norm for some.....some people just dont know that they cause so much hurt....and what is even worse is that they can't be accounted for it because in their eyes there is nothing wrong

ganun lang tlaga sila

Mom says (1:18 AM):
that's true. kaya nga mas nakakainis e. because when he gets to my nerves, that means i allow him to take control of me. and you know i hate it when i lose control.

so anyway, enough about him. i have a serious case of indigestion to worry about.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Sweet Slumber

photo credit:

It's been so long since I last slept that way.

Thank you for letting me.