Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Hit And Run

A younger dancer that I know from the dance school I am an alumnus of in Manila passed away a few months back. She was hit by a speeding car as she was crossing the street, shortly after what was to be her last performance. It was a big news in the States, where she was pursuing her dance career, and at home. She wasn't only a gifted dancer, she was a well-loved young lady as well. According to investigations, the car had the green light, therefore, no charges were pressed against the driver of the car that claimed her life.

A good friend of mine buzzed me repeatedly on YM tonight. Despite my attempt to appear invisible to everybody, including to him, he wouldn't yield to the idea that there was no way he could get a hold of me online. I felt the sense of urgency he was sending me, so I asked why.

He wanted to rant. Another friend of ours has been giving him the cold shoulder. And apparently, this "cold shoulder" friend even swore never to talk to "ranting" friend until he (cold shoulder) receives an apology from him (ranting).

Because Cold Shoulder Friend's version of the story is all that I've ever heard of, I asked Ranting Friend his version. If he wanted to hear my take on the issue, and I was sure he did, he might as well spill it all out to me, which he did. After lines and lines of messages popping out of our chat window, he ended his piece with, "I won't say sorry. My conscience is clear. I know in my heart I didn't want to hurt him."

My dear friend,

If you were the person who was hit by a car because you were jay-walking, wouldn't it be nice to know that, even if the driver had the right of way and in the law of man, he could never be responsible for your injury, he would not run away from you?

Sure, you didn't mean to hurt him with your actions, but you did. And while you can't be held responsible for that, can't you be human enough to apologize? Never mind the kind of person you are, or the kind of person he is. Never mind which one of you is stronger, or which one has less to lose. In the end, no matter how "big" a person may seem, no matter how sturdy he may be, and no matter how unbelievable it is, the truth stands that he is still a human being, who, like every single one of us, is capable of hurting.

And please, enough with the "It wasn't my intention to hurt him, so I won't say sorry." In the first place, why would you say sorry to someone you've hurt, when the intention was to hurt him anyway? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?