Friday, January 14, 2005

after the catharsis

after 3 weeks of hibernating, i went to malate last night with the people i usually go there with. there were 4 of us: a couple, going through the same drama george and i went through at the close of 2004; i; and a very dear friend who has been utterly lost for the past 6 years, but has been concealing it.

it felt great to realize that am back on feet. that people have found confidence to count on me for strength once more. i heard their sad stories, and i too, wept with them. but i know now how to carry on. and i have regained enough stamina and endurance to help me help them.

stella (george's ex, who i consider now a good friend) was right. one can really not love without learning to love himself first. and i walked the dark, insect-infested road to learn to love myself alone. it was a painful process. very painful. but i am glad i went through it. i just hope my friends find enough courage to choose to walk the same path. then they will be better lovers.


i saw my brother's blog on our baby. i miss queenie. lord, please lead her home.