For A Friend We Would Call "Cynical"

the following entry was written and published on my Multiply site on April 10, '07.

It might happen again. But then again, it might not.

If you go on being cynical about love and people, you could lose your chance at a wonderful relationship. What’s the worst thing that could happen anyway if you gave it a try and it didn’t work out? A broken heart, shattered fantasies and a bruised ego. Hey, that’s not bad at all! Remember that these three things are exactly what made you a stronger person in such a short period of time. If you find yourself dealing with them again, so what? One can never be too strong. Or resilient.

One more point. Just because one person wasn’t the right one for you doesn’t mean nobody else can be. Especially, I don’t think it is right to measure a “potential future” against a “failed past” based on how they differ or are alike in areas such as hair length, body art, physique and geographic origin. They could very much differ in 3 major aspects: wisdom, maturity and values --- the only aspects that really matter when it comes to human relationships. (Objections, anyone? None? Good!)

Bottomline is this: The trail of broken hearts that we would find when we look back on the path we have walked upon should, I think, serve as lessons as we venture in the future. They are our guide. They should make us stronger. They should not limit us or bind us from trying again.

When a dancer makes his first failed pirouette, no teacher will tell him to not do pirouettes EVER in his life because trying another pirouette will just frustrate him. Instead, a sound teacher will point out to him why his center was off right from the plie. And a sound dancer will keep practicing his pirouettes keeping in mind how to do it right. And as he keeps progressing, he will make more mistakes, and discover more lessons, thus making his pirouettes cleaner, more centered and musical. There could never be a perfect pirouette. But somehow, he will find a way to do his pirouettes the way his body is comfortable with it. Eventually, there will be no more crash landings, but swift, clean, stable and graceful finish, be it in fourth, fifth, or segueing to a temps levee, with a well-coordinated epaulee and the perfect “Main Theater” smile.

So, Cynical.. Instead of trying to elude romance, like a student who’d feign dizziness when it’s centerwork for pirouettes, why not take the risk again till you learn to finish gracefully?

Love, I believe, is a wonderful experience, no matter what. Why proceed with too much caution? And more importantly, why not consider proceeding even?