An Artwork In The Making

Ryeness As Interpreted by Pro

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day 1

day 2

Choices

I am lost.

I believe that one of the purchases that have to be given much thought and consideration is that of perfumes, because the scent one is wearing can make or break him. Most of the time, people associate the scent with the wearer; and I don't wanna be associated with the wrong scents (or wrongly associated to scents. Whatever.). How often do we hear people say, "Eew! You smell like that cocky brat who thinks he's God's gift to mankind!" or "Oh you're turning me on! You smell like my ripped gym instructor!"

That's my point.

I decided to ditch my Paris Hilton scent and am currently seeking for a substitute. As suggested by the uber chic and sophisticatedly trendy Desiree Guico-Alonzo, I dropped by Sasa, the leading cosmetics and perfume chain here in HK, to check out the Carolina Herrera line.

Two of the many scents charmed me the most: Carolina Herrera 212 and Carolina Herrera 212 Sexy.

212 is more playful, while 212 Sexy is more sensual. 212 is more youthful, while 212 Sexy is more sophisticated. 212 is the scent I'd love to flaunt, while 212 Sexy is the scent I'd love for the man I'd want to sleep with, wear.

I sprayed each on either wrists and apparently, they both work well with my body chemistry. I told the salesgirl I was going back tomorrow. But I really don't know whih to choose.

---

There's this white leather DKNY bag that I've been salivating for and decided to buy come next payday.

When I saw the Ricoh R8 print ad sometime two weeks ago, I decided to purchase that instead of the bag.

As I was walking to Sasa tonight, I saw a really nice beautiful pair of shades by Salvatore Ferragamo.

It's been a while since I treated myself to a leather bag.

My Sony digicam isn't functioning anymore.

The shades tht I'm using now are about two years old and are way out of style.

All three of them cost around the same price. I can only afford one, unless I decide not to eat for a whole month.

Which should I get?

---

I could only hope for that time to come when I could buy everything I want and not have to make difficult choices anymore.

Have Dan And Rye Ended Their Friendship?

No. I doubt that will ever happen.

Whatever happened to The Dan & Rye Show? It's coming back pretty soon.

When we ended our second season, we didn't know it would take us so long to open the third. A lot of things have happened in the course of 2 months that we hardly found the time to sit and talk about what to do for the next season.

In our first season, we were kitschy and somewhat insolent. In our second, we got a bit more serious and opinionated. What will we be in our third? The answer to that, until now, we do not know. The only questions we've managed to discuss and resolve are:

"Have you chosen which of the obb's to use?" from Joel McVie,

and

"When are you coming back?" from Dats.

And the respective answers are:

"Yes, we have.",

and

"Season 3 opens on April 14, our anniversary."

Besides those mentioned, there are a lot more questions that we haven't really discussed, like the one that we raised ourselves when, after recording the Pinas Podcast Ep., Joel mentioned that we were ready to face the camera. Until now, we couldn't really tell.

"Are we really ready to go on-cam?"

---

Ryeness In The Eyes Of A Beholder

An Aussie friend of mine who comes to HK quite often and meets up with me secretly, was preparing my drink while we were hanging out at his apartment tonight, when he said, "Do you want it strong?"

And without even having to think about it, I said, "Yes."

"Oh yeah. Like everything else in your life."

"What do you mean?" I was puzzled.

"Like the cigarettes that you smoke, and your men, and the garlic in your adobo, and the pepper on your soup, and the more-than-extra virgin olive oil in your pasta. You're an all or nothing person, Ryan. You live life to the extremes. Sometimes you're extremely horny, other times you're not interested in sex at all. I'm not surprised you're still single. You probably demand all or nothing even when it comes to love. It's not just black and white, babe. There are lots of shades of grey in between them."

...

This got me to think --- is anything wrong with that?

Easter Weekend Quotable Quotes

Good Friday

"Maybe you drugs. (hik!) I don't like you. I hate people who drugs because (hik!) I don't drugs. And I don't like going home with you (hik!) because you always use your hands and feet on me. It (hik!) hurts!"

-Overheard from a drunk Filipina, to a 40-ish-looking white man she was with while at some local bar in Panglao

Black Saturday

Rye: Miss, may yosi kayo?

Bargirl: Ha?

Rye: Yosi. May yosi kayo?

Bargirl: Ano yun?

Rye: Marlboro Reds?

Bargirl: Ahh! Hahahahahaha! (bursts into a boisterous laughter then walks away. She comes back after a while with a pack of Marlboro Reds) Sir, pasensya na kayo ha? Hindi kasi ako sanay na may umoorer ng "yosi". Laging either "segarets" or "yusi".

- Oops! Bar

Easter Sunday

"Sino'ng manager nyo?"

- some Cebuana girl, to Ryan and me while dancing with us.

Monday After Easter

Rye: Manong, di ka naman suplado diba?

teenage Manong: (smiles)

Rye: Makikipaglaro ka sa min ha?

teenage Manong: Oo ba! Pero dun na tayo maglaro sa (in crisp American accent) "fish sanctuary".

- before the boat trip

______

Most Useful Bisaya Word - palihug

"Day, palihug kong tubig." - may be used in a restaurant to ask a female server to get you water.

"Ma, palihug kong rice." - asking Mom to pass the rice.

"Dong, dong! Palihug kong uten mo." - very useful on rampa nights. Tried and tested. It works!

____

A Party A Day Keeps The Bitchiness At Bay

I feel like I overworked this week. And my usual whiny, cry-baby self could easily complain and bitch around. But my more reasonable self took over me and I found myself bright and bubbly today, the last day of my work week. There's nothing to complain about, really. My healthy social life is keeping up with the equilibrium.

;-)

Steve's 30th birthday at Volume, Wednesday last week.

Shenzhen weekend getaway, last Friday

Red and F.I.N.D.S. night-out, last night

TONIGHT! Leaving for a 5-day Panglao trip. Excited!

_____________________

I'm An OFW And This One Really Hurt Me

Thanks Sheila and Ate Yael for sharing. And if this is all true, my personal message for the people involved is(sorry, I tried but couldn't find a better way to put it):

May you all rot in hell like aged kitchen garbage, you filthy, sickening bastards! Punyeta kayong lahat. LAHAT kayo.
___________________________

THE Commission on Audit (COA) has rebuked the Philippine Overseas Employment Administration for "illegally" granting about P40million in incentives and allowances to its officials and employees for the past three years.

COA also took the POEA to task for allowing its executives and employees who were issued mobile phones to download about P796,000 worth of games, tones, picture messages and other unauthorized items.

In its latest report, prepared by Director IV Roberto Marquez, COA said the POEA drew P24.048 million from the funds of the Overseas Workers' Welfare Administration to grant an "incentive allowance" to its personnel. Such use of OWWA funds is unauthorized, COA said.

It said that even if the OWWA Board of Trustees had justified the giving of the incentive allowance by citing the increase in OWWA collections from overseas Filipino workers, the move was "without legal basis."

Section 15 (e) of the General Appropriations Act, FY 2003 (as reenacted in 2004), "as well as previous> general appropriation acts, provides that no government funds shall be [used] to pay honoraria, allowances or other compensations to any government official or employee, except those specifically authorized by law," the report stated.

Section 3 of Administrative Order 103 also bans national government agencies from granting new or additional benefits to their officials and employees "except for Collective Negotiation Agreement (CNA) Incentives and those expressly provided by presidential issuance," the COA said.

Although it recommended that the POEA management stop granting the incentive allowance, COA acknowledged that the issue is awaiting final disposition before the Legal Adjudication Office.

COA noted that the POEA granted P15.448 million for the CNA signing bonus and rice allowance to its employees, a violation of rules laid down by the Public Sector Labor Management Council.

COA said the POEA management and the employees' union agreed on a quarterly rice subsidy to its employees, including casuals, contractual and temporary workers, and a P15,000 signing bonus "to be given on a staggered basis within three years subject to the availability of savings."

On the strength of the agreement signed on December 10, 2001, the POEA granted P15.448 million from 2002 to 2004. But! the COA reviewed the payments and found they could have violated the rules on CNA signing bonus and allowances. Rice and other subsidies require "appropriation of funds," or approval from Congress and subsequent enactment of the President, COA said.

COA also cited a May 16, 2002, circular from the Department of the Budget and Management that said the President has issued a "moratorium on the grant of CNA signing bonus due to some problems raised on the payment and fund source."

COA added that the moratorium has been in effect until these problems are resolved and a policy is issued on the matter. It also cited the July 11, 2002, decision of the Supreme Court in the case of Social Security System v. COA, in which it ruled against the signing bonus as a form of additional compensation under the Constitution.

COA said that despite the Court's earlier pronouncement against the granting of incentives and allowances, the POEA in 2004 still gave P7.2105 million to its employees and officials as signing bonus and rice subsidies.

The POEA justified its move by saying that the budget department had approved the release of incentives and allowances, COA said.

COA also questioned why the POEA failed to follow the guidelines in its memorandum on October 26, 2001, covering the use of cell phones after the POEA paid for the nonessential downloads made by its officials and employees.

The POEA is supposed to put a limit on the use of cell phones, but the audit on its telephone bills showed that P487,283.59 of the P1.3-million total from 2003 to 2004 consisted of charges in excess of the authorized limit.

Even POEA's bookkeeper in charge admitted that she could not impose limits on the use of the cell phones to some officials, COA said. "We also noted that the POEA had incurred other charges amounting to P308,747.58 in the use of the mobile phones, in addition to the fixed charges of P400,002.80 due to subscription to Globe lines or plans. These additional charges are value-added taxes and currency adjustment fees. Other charges which are personal and which are easily incurred and billed due to the nature of line subscription, include share-a-load and its processing fee, GPRS such as Globe games, photo messages, polyphonic ring tones,digital postcards, photo album, cinema and magazine covers, premium java download, instant messaging and catxtcism, etc.," COA said.

To avoid further overpayments, COA recommended that the POEA coordinate with Globe to shift to prepaid cards and end the subscription of postpaid lines.

If this is all true it is ROBBERY, CORRUPTION AND DISREGARD FOR THE LAW.

Tagging Myself

Pao didn't wanna tag me so I took the initiative.

The Shuffle Test

RULES:Put your music player on shuffle.For each question, press the next button to get your answer.You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!

1. If someone says "Is this okay?" you say?
Lucky Star (Madonna) -- could i get any gayer?!?!

2. What would best describe your personality?
Chillout James (Kevin Johansen) -- right on!

3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Master Of The House (Les Miserables) -- sakto again!

4. How do you feel today?
The First Cut Is The Deepest (Cat Stevens)

5. What is your life's purpose?
Drown In My Own Tears (Ray Charles) -- wag naman!

6. What is your motto?
Overpowered/ Seamus Haji Remix (Roisin Murphy)

7. What do your friends think of you?
How Can You Stop? (Michael Buble) -- uhmm... Steve would agree. and maybe La too. and Jethro. and Nelson. and Dan. and Chris.

8. What do you think of your parents?
Easy Ka Lang (Eraseheads) -- not applicable anymore. they're too easy now.

9. What do you think about very often?
Could You Be Loved? (Bob Marley) -- huh?!?! could who be loved?

10. What do you think of your bestfriend?
I'll Cover You/ minus one (Rent) -- hehehehe!

11. What do you think of the person you like?
Light Years (Kylie Minogue) -- adik?!

12. What is your life story?
Hypnotic, Erotic Games (Soulshaker, Pacha Ibiza) -- overstatement!

13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Hey Big Spender! -- lmfao!

14. What do you think when you see the person you like?
Lesson To Be Learned (Barbra Streisand) -- uhmm, well, I did get gayer here.

15. What do your parents think of you?
Situations (Jack Johnson)

16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
No Ordinary Love (Sade) -- aww!

17. What will they play at your funeral?
A Very Nice Prince (Into The Woods) -- princess.

18. What is your favorite hobby/interest?
Rehab (Amy Winehouse) -- whadda?!?! ulol ka, Amy!

19. What is your biggest fear?
Whenever Wherever Whatever (Maxwell) -- takot main love? 'course not!

20. What is your biggest secret?
The Postman's Dreams/ I Sogni del Postino (Il Postino OST) -- yeah, I wish I had a hunk of a postman as a dirty little secret.

21. What song will be the title when you repost this?
Ikaw Lang Ang Mamahalin (San Miguel Master Chorale) -- any volunteers?

Sometimes.

Sometimes a boy gets naughty and logs in to a personals site.

Sometimes he gets even naughtier and starts to show himelf doing things that should be done in private.

Until some time, a friend of his tells him that another friend of theirs has seen him showing.

He denies.

But there really is no denying.

Because their other friend saw distinct marks in the person on-cam's body and verified them using the boy's other pictures. On another online community site.

Blame It On The Shuffle Feature Of Ipod

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now

Jefferson Starship

Looking in your eyes,

I see a paradise.

This world that I found

Is too good to be true.

Standing here beside you,

I want so much to give you

this love in my heart

that im feeling for you

Let them say we're crazy.

I don't care about that.

Put your hand in my hand,

baby, don't ever look back.

Let the world around us

just fall apart.

Maybe we can make it

if we're heart to heart.

And we can build

this thing together,

stand in stone forever,

nothing's gonna stop us now.

And if this world

runs out of lovers

we'll still have each other.

Nothing's gonna stop us,

nothing's gonna stop us now.

I'm so glad I found you,

I'm not gonna lose you,

whatever it takes

to stay here with you.

Take it to the good times,

see it through the bad times.

Whatever it takes

is what I'm gonna do.

Let them say we're crazy.

What do they know?

Put your arms around me,

baby, don't ever let go.

Let the world around us

just fall apart.

Baby, we can make it

if we're heart to heart.

Oh, all that I need is you.

All that I ever need.

All that I want to do

is hold you forever,

forever and ever.

----------

I wish I had someone to sing this too. Maybe someday. Someday.

Haay... emo. Lagi na lang. Damn shuffle!

Just Another Warm-Up Class

One Tuesday afternoon at work, my good friend Ayi came up to me and asked whether I could teach the warm-up class assigned to her for the following day. I agreed.

On the train home, my Ipod was on shuffle and it played a song that inspired me to sms Josh, Dan and Chris:

"2:45 warm-up. Bring high heels."

They did. So did I. And so come combination time, the class was divided into three groups: the boys, the girls, and the boys in heels.

Steve, Law and Ryan, are you guys ready for your first dance class?

__________

An Open Letter For A Treasured Friend

My Dearly Beloved You,

Isn't it amazing how inseparable we've become? How we've grown to trust each other as safeguards of our deepest, filthiest secrets? How we've strived to explore each other's secrets and solve each other's most baffling mysteries? How we've survived our emotional bruises standing by and for each other? How, through the most miserable and most opportune days through the years since we met, we've owned each other as an integral part of our very own selves? How hideously, shamelessly intimate we've become?

I enjoyed you as much as you did me. I introduced you to my other friends because our association was, and still is, of great magnitude to me. Some of them welcomed you unreservedly, while others with a little measure of reluctance. Still, you were my friend and that was all that mattered to me.

But like any other human relationship, ours is bound by the universal rules of space, which, we have conveniently put out of our minds. It used to work out just fine, our disregard to this particular law of nature. It doesn't anymore. At least to me, it doesn't anymore.

So please understand if I have to stay away from you for a while. Let me take pleasure in myself for now. And my other friends. And the things that I used to enjoy but have been neglecting recently. Let me go back to the gym. Let me watch my diet again. Let me blog and do my podcasts with Dan. Let me enjoy my Friday nights at Law's in Causeway Bay. Let me make dinner again for my friends from work. Let me enjoy free vodka nights in Volume without having you to tag along. Let me rearrange my room. Let me catch up on my reading. And sleep. Let me create another artistic work. Let me be without you for a while. Let me miss you. Just for a while.

I am not saying goodbye. I can't. I don't want to. I haven't outgrown you yet. There are more places to journey to, and more quiet evenings to drown in oblivion. I just want to remember what life was like before I met you. Because with you around, everything is beautiful and living is too convenient. And I don't want it that way. Not always.

But know that I love you. I always have and I always will. Bye for now. I'll be back. I promise.

Yours sincerely,

P.s.

Please don't think I'm asking you to steer clear from my friends also. Some of them have learned to love you and enjoy your company as well. But I don't want to be part of your interactions with them. Not in any way.

Never Was. Never Will Be.

I called Lawrence twice to inform him I was already in Causeway Bay and that I was gonna ransack his fridge because I was hungry. Both times, he didn't pick up. So when, after about 2 minutes, my phone rang, I was certain it was he. I pressed the answer button without checking the number first. I was all giggly when I said, "Hi friennnnnnnnnnnd!" I was mistaken. It was another person calling. And that person, a mere acquaintance was taken aback after hearing me talk that way. I was laughing my ass off as I explained to him that I was expecting another call. While on the phone with the person, half of my brain was thinking, "God, I'm not yet ready for spring. Maybe I should walk around a bit to look for some really nice shorts. I have much time to kill anyway." So I did.

I went inside Guess first. But I had to leave immediately. They had a nice white bag that I couldn't stand looking at. It was too beautiful! And I couldn't afford it right now. Maybe not in the next two months even. I walked a little more until I found Gas --- one of those shops that I don't really frequent because their merchandise are just addictive and pricey. I don't even know until now why I chose to visit Gas instead of Diesel, which stood just about 3 meters away. Diesel, being the brand my wallet prefers.

So anyway, I was checking out a pair of fatigue shorts, still on the phone with the person when it dawned on me that I was speaking loudly. There was a Filipino-looking tisoy in the store who kept looking at me. He probably thought I was humiliating. After hanging up, I walked down to the other end of the rack to examine the grey striped shirt I saw as I was walking inside the store. I took off my dark shades to It was then that the Filipino-looking tisoy came up to me and said, "Ryan?"

Call it celebrity complex, but the first thought that popped in my mind was, "Wow! Another The Dan and Rye Show listener!" I smiled at him and with the confidence of a Hollywood star, I said "hi."

"Di mo ko nakikilala no?"

My smile turned from self-assured to apologetic.

"Ang daya mo! I recognized you as soon as I saw you, pero ako di mo na kilala. You look so different! You look like you're enjoying your life a lot. Di ka na mukhang starving artist."

"Pano mo ko nakilala if you're saying I look so different?"

"Your voice hasn't changed. And your smile."

I was staring at him, dumbfounded. A barrage of thoughts and emotions overpowered me. Flattered. Confused. Scared. Embarrassed. Hungry.

"Francis," he finally revealed.

My eyes grew big and I felt my heart thump.

®®®

It was the summer of 1999. I just got kicked out from the university and was suffering from a freshly-bruised heart. I didn't know what to do with my life. I wasn't even sure I wanted it to continue. I failed my parents and my first attempt at romance turned out to be a huge fiasco. I tried everything to entertain myself --- crazy night-outs, mountain climbing, alcohol, weed, shopping, mIRC. That's where I met him. On #gaymanila, Undernet. For a whole week, we chatted every night from 11-3. During daytime, we'd sms nonstop, telling each other everything we were going through throughout the day: from big realizations about life, love & relationships to Chico & Delamar. Everything. I would refuse to sms my other friends so I could save my load for him.

About 3 days after we started talking on the phone, we agreed to meet up. Gerry's (or was it Dencio's?), Tomas Morato, 10 pm (I think). It went well. It went better than I expected. A few rounds of beer later, we left and headed to a discreet motel in the residential part of Cubao. We drank some more and talked. Then we cuddled. Then he asked me about the guy who broke my heart, and I cried, telling him about the guy. He held me in his arms. He smelled nice and I was drunk and horny. We started to make out. I could feel he was hard and I was too. But we didn't have sex. We checked out of the motel, picked up a bottle of Emperador brandy and Coke, and headed to his place in Pasig. There, we talked some more. Until the sun rose, and it was time for me to go home.

I woke up late in the afternoon that day with a hang-over. I checked my 5110 as soon as I opened my eyes to see how many messages he has sent me while I was asleep. None. I asked my dad whether anyone called for me. None. I got the message. He didn't like me. Maybe that's why he didn't try to have sex with me. Maybe his kiss meant nothing more than "You must feel terrible. I hope this makes you feel better." I wanted to call to ask why he acted so different all so suddenly. But I didn't wanna look more pathetic and more vulnerable than I already was.

Around dinnertime, he sent me a message that went something like, "I just woke up. I hope your hangover is not as bad as mine. Call me when you wake up."

We went out for about two more weeks after that. One night, we were on a cab going home from a friend's party, I asked him whether he was willing to be in a relationship with me. He said no. The reason being, he was leaving for Japan soon. He had just graduated from college before we met and his parents had arranged for him to join them there where bigger career opportunities were waiting for him. I asked how soon. He said in less than a week. I was hurt I felt he was being unfair, leading me on like that when he knew we had no future together. I didn't speak to him for days. I refused to take his calls and reply to his messages. When I was ready to talk things over, he decided it was his turn to act stubborn. One morning, he sent me a message asking to see me. He said he was leaving the following day.

I went to his place that night and we had sex. The first time we did. After which, I asked him why we never considered a long-distance relationship as an option. I hadn't met Guillaume or Ricky then. I was young and idealistic and I didn't know how much time, effort, maturity and money were required to make an LTR work. I though love was enough. And I believed our love was enough. He said he didn't want it. It would be difficult for us both. He was all dressed and ready to go to the airport when he woke me up the following morning. I got up and hopped in the cab with him. I had prepared myself to bring him to the airport. But he instructed the driver to drop me off at my place first before heading to NAIA. Before the cab turned right to Santolan from EDSA, I asked him, "Pano tayo?"

He said, without any trace of sadness, "Ganun talaga. Some relationships are not meant to last a lifetime. Be thankful na lang that we had this moment, kahit na sandal lang." He squeezed my hand and I let out a tear.

That was our last encounter. I never found him on mIRC again after that and he never answered any of my emails. Eventually, I forgot about him. From that time on until today, I have met lots of Francises here and there. And I've heard of Japan a lot of times. But not once did any of these ever remind me of the Francis that I fell in love with who flew to Japan and left me heart-broken. Never.

®®®

"Bat nandito ka?", I asked him after I managed to regain my composure.

"Bakasyon lang."

"But you still live in Japan?"

"Yes, Dun na ko naka-base. Kelan ka dadalaw dun?"

"Wala pa kong plans. Hanggang kelan ka dito?"

"Sunday. Dito ka na ba nakatira?"

"Oo. I moved here in June of 2005."

"Ah talaga? E kunin ko number mo. Gimik tayo bukas or something. Ano work mo?"

"Dancer pa rin. Hehe! Sino kasama mo?"

His phone rang. He talked to the caller in Japanese.

"Ryan, balik na ko sa hotel. Ready na mag-Mong kok yung mga kasama ko."

"Ok. Sino ba yun?"

"Yung partner ko tsaka sister nya."

"Ahhh ok! O sige! Ingat!"

He hurried away then he looked back and signaled that he will call me. Then it dawned on me, we didn't get to exchange numbers. Maybe what he said to me years ago was right. That some relationships are not meant to last a lifetime. I'm still thankful that we had this moment, 9 years after we last saw each other, kahit na sandal lang.

Steve Is Judgmental. I Am Misjudged.

It's not so long ago (not even a year, I think) when I was first told that I look intimidating. It was my good friend, Anna Fegi, who told me that. She said the first time she saw me, she felt that I didn't like her. That was not the case.

--

Sometime last month, over dinner with Dan and Jing (Anna's sister), I somehow mentioned that in passing. I told the story in jest, of course. Coz I really believed at that time that Anna was an isolated case. I was sure 9 times out of 10, people thought otherwise. Then Jing said, "Alam mo, totoo. Kahit ako, medyo matagal bago naging kumportable sa yo. Kasi parang ang taray mo."

--

Saturday night, at Law's, I told the guys (Josh, Steve & Law) that I was a little pissed at this person we met at Volume in our pre-Valentine's get-together.

His name was Bertrand. Filipino. We were laughing at the top of our lungs in the VIP lounge when he barged in and said, "Pinoy kayo?" Ok, so I thought the question was stupid. We were all chatting in Filipino when he overheard us. Only someone who dind't know the distinct sound of our language would not think that the group was entirely Filipino. Putting it simply, it was such a dumb way to say "You look like a happy group. I am Filipino too and I'd like to join you." Still, I was among the first ones to introduce myself and offer a handshake. I was cordial. We invited him to dinner at Law's the Friday following that Wednesday night. Friday noon, I saw him on two of the sites I frequent. I sent him a nice, polite message asking whether he was coming to dinner. He ignored me. Totally. He read both my messages and refused to answer. Now, that's rude. As if trying to insult me even more, he, until now texts and calls my friends on Wednesdays and Fridays asking what plans we have for the night.

Hearing the story, Law said something like, "Alam mo kasi, Rye, it takes a while before people actually warm up to you. Mukha ka kasing suplado."

"Ako?!?" I was shocked.

Steve said, "Yung neutral face mo kasi, masungit tingnan." Then he said that there are at least 3 people he knows of who have told them the same thing.

Then Josh added, "Oo. Nung bago nga ako akala ko di mo ko gusto e."

A 15-minute (or so) discussion on how people perceive me ensued.

--

Tuesday. Just this last Tuesday. In the middle of the show, while I was sitting on the couch waiting for my cue for the next number, Pro (one of my newest favorite straight guys), was pacing back and forth almost in front of me. I looked at him blankly. I had no particular intentions in doing so. I just looked. Then he saw me. He asked me what was running in my head when I looked at him. I said, "Nothing."

Then he said, "Alam mo, Rye, kung di kita kilala, matatakot ako sa tingin mo. Kasi parang any moment, sasampalin mo na lang ako."

--

Honestly, people.. I am a sweet, loving person. I may have sarcastic remarks and sudden bitchy outbursts to throw at anyone at times (and "at times" means when I'm tired, or hungry, or when I've had more than two caps of Hydroxycut in less than 4 hours), but I am a kind-hearted person in general. I swear. Ask my friends and they will attest to this.

Photo Reflections

I was loading Pink Becky with my old (and new) photos and I was quite amused at how I have changed physically over the past couple of season changes here in HK.

I don't look young and fresh anymore. My hair is gradually receding; and it's starting to get a bit more difficult to keep myself in shape. I used to be able to muster enough energy to go straight to work from a ridiculous night out. I can't anymore. I no longer belong to the mid-20's age group.

I don't mind, though. I enjoyed my youth well and I will grow old happy and content, knowing that I didn't waste it idly. I laughed, loved and partied like a son of a bitch! And in the process of having fun, I have made some very enriching experiences and associations. And I still am. (Having fun and making some very enriching experiences and associations.)

pre-HK; the height of my career as a dancer ---
back in the day when i could munch on anything edible i set my eyes on
without having to worry about gaining a single pound.

summer of 2006---
i was dancing less and cooking more.
but i had Saturday & Friday nights devoted
to burning calories on the dancefloor;
Pui O Beach (photo by Mamangun)

January 2007---
3 months after I started
serious weight training and food supplements
(photo by Mamangun)

January 2008---
a year after the last photo was taken.
a year & 3 months of on-and-off
weight training and protein overdose
(photo by Mamangun; sponsored by Ayi)

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Welcome The Divine Ryeness Back

Difficult as it may be, he had chosen to bid his Dell goodbye, to give way to a new member of the Divine Court--- Pink Becky.